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Just when you thought you “had” it…. Think again…. This is FAR from the XXX you may be “thinking” of, or FAR from the split second thought that “may” have popped into your head. (Just being real)

My Son, Patrick, 20, stands at 5’11” and looks like he can be a “mini” linebacker for the Dolphins (Lord knows they may need some help (no, I’m NOT at all “hatin” on them). He has a fierceness in him that he tends to call passion at times (sounds so much like me, I feel like slappin myself upside the head a FEW times…actually, more than a few). Needless to say, his mouth is HOT and tends to get him in “trouble”.

My husband and I have used the 3 strikes (XXX) and you’re out form of discipline with our children for some time. Its always worked in our favor because the kids knew, if they got to three, something would either be taken away, or they’d be in time out. And honestly, it still works to some degree on our girls. However, it’s been loosing its sting with our boy – he’s not “scared” anymore.

Just recently, we (Son & Mom) had a “Passionate” conversation in which I found myself trying to caution him to “stop” before he crossed the line. How? By telling him, “OK Patrick, that’s 1″….. “OK Patrick, now that’s 2, you need to to stop… Surprisingly, he did not get to the dreaded 3 (and to be honest.. (I can now say this because I KNOW he will not be reading this) I don’t even know what I was going to do if he got to 3. After all, spanking this HUGE “kid” is not an option, especially not with MY hands.. I’ll have to grab a heavy duty paddle on his butt.

At what point does discipline “end”, never.

At what point will the kids get “it”, not sure.

At what point do we give up on the opportunity to influence our kids (even when there being BIG TIME BUTT HEADS, never.

At what point will we remember that WE are TRULY NOT in control, I hope ASAP.

While we do NOT (at all), have this parenting thing “figured” out, my husband and I do have some absolute NON-NEGOTIABLE “lines” that are NOT to be crossed in our home.

  • No lying
  • No sass mouth
  • Respect one another

Yes, there are plenty of other parenting/guiding musts, but the three above are top priority for us. But we must always remember to pick and choose our battles – because not everything is a battle to be fought, but a war to be won; and not everything is a war to be won, but a battle to be fought. I have to trust God when He says; “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) (emphasis mine) Training our children is our call (our charge, our duty, our “job”) – not whether or not they’ll actually heed to the training, or whether or not they’ll walk the walk we ourselves have modeled. To train is to Teach, Instruct, Drill, Coach, Educate, etc.. NOT to beat over the head, control with an “iron” fist or even take responsibility for their choices.

This “revelation” took some time for me to grasp (not that I have it FULLY grasped). It also took action on my part. I had to put some things into perspective and ask myself a few questions: Will this “matter” in ten, twenty or sixty minutes from now? Is this a teachable opportunity? Am I getting angry because of the issue at hand or the fact that this kid is messing with my pride? These “filters” have helped me tremendously and have avoided countless, possible “over -reactions”.

What’s your parenting style? What keeps your cool? What type of filters do you use? 

Glo 😉

 

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